He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
