Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
