thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
