Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
love makes seman taste better
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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