i don't like sucking hair
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
