i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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