I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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