Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so that wasnt chicken after all
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
false alarm, still single
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
