..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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