yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
