I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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