She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
