the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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