I feel like I'm in dance class right now
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
