8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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