a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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