She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
