Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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