Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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