isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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