In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
