he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
