Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
