i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
