Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
