i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
