and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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