She announced her abortion via fbk
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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