uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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