Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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