My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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