After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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