bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
