my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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