Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
