the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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