Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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