I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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