My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
