I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
