so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
