What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
