Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
