IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
God, I missed his penis.
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