but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
