i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
