can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
