Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
