I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize