his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
