You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Please don't give away my fajitas
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
