Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
