Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
