Fuck appropriateness.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
