ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
