She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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