PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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