She is in my trunk
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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