so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
