the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize
