We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
this boner is exhausting
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
