i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He passed out mid-signature
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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